Tuesday, November 22, 2005


To say I am tired would be an understatement of a significant order.  Extremely tired would do my feelings some justice, but it would not be quite the full story.

You know you are really tired (or tired-looking) when people you don't know well or only meet on a casual basis (e.g. out walking their dogs) tell you that you look tired - in the middle of the day.  People who never see a person outside of daylight hours probably have substantial authority to determine that a person is genuinely fatigued, rather than simply tired.  And so it was, as I dragged myself and Sophie (my black labrador friend) around the muddy lanes and tarmac pavements of the village, that my tiredness was recognised and pointed out by a fellow dog walker.  It's funny how people close to you can miss such things, but a more or less complete stranger homes in on it with laser-guided precision.  Sad, though, that the first follow-up question was a line of enquiry involving a suspected cause of that tiredness. Parties and socialising.  Not quite the case here.

Working up to a tight deadline can be a nightmare for all parties concerned, but particularly for the person or persons actually "doing the doing" so to speak.  Anyone who works in the design or publishing business will no doubt concur and shudder with an instinctitve recollection of such circumstances.  It is under such conditions that I have been working these last few days.  Such is the lot of a web designer, scraping to make ends meet without meeting an end... [ see what I did there... totally seamless ] .

There are worse occupations, of course. And there are even worse ways to earn money, full stop.  I'm sure a lot of it is down to me, perhaps I expect too much recognition for jobs well done, or appreciation for the work I do.  I certainly don't expect too much financially, that is for certain.  That is something I need to work on.  When you don't get much in the way of thanks or consideration or a sense of being valued, somtimes you have to filter out that part of your brain which responds to those things and concentrate on providing yourself with the means to allow other parts of your brain to respond positively.   Which means money, so that the parts of your brain which worry about bills and about getting some respite are compensated accordingly for the lack of "warm fuzzies" in the part of the brain that deals with value and appreciation.   It's a bit like telling one part of your brain to look away whilst you feed another part of it.  Or something like that...

Ah, value and value. Being valued - thanks and appreciation for efforts, knowledge and expertise.  A valued being - the financial rewards for the same.  An internal market of exchange rates and currency fluctuations.  Are there traders in this market I wonder?   What's the current exchange rate between the "being valued" currency and the "valued being" currency?

I am not sure myself at the moment.... I wonder if my internal currency market crashed a long time ago a la Black Wednesday.  Still, at least unlike the real traders I don't have to wear a silly waistcoat.  Yet.

Posted by Jon at 10:27:19 PM in Musing (23) | Comments (2)


Cheer up!

Posted by Gavin Corder on 25/11/2005

Thanks Gavin :)
Actually, I think I'm quite a chirpy and upbeat kind of person. Some of my posts might come across otherwise, but sometimes that's a device for provoking thoughts in other people.
Anyway, thanks for visiting and commenting! :)

Posted by Jon on 25/11/2005

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